England, England (1998)
266pp, Fiction
Notes
2025-09-28
Set in the near future (from 1998's perspective, so about now I would think) The Isle of Wight is turned into a theme park version of England, leading to the "decline" of the mainland. Tourism following the royal family and replicas of Stone Henge, The Old Cheshire Cheese and the Houses of Parliament (all staffed by actors), migrates to the island. Barnes treats the theme park England as a microcosm for a kind of Singapore-ish corporate state, capital is king and law is enforced at the will of the CEO (this is mostly achieved by deporting people by ferry to Dieppe though it's made clear that corporal punishment is absolutely on the cards). From 1998's perspective I imagine this is a kind of end state for Blair/ Brown central planning managerialism, ultimate (classical) liberalism in an authoritarian mode. Meanwhile, freed from it's Imperial myths and royal family, Old England, rechristened Anglia, becomes a kind of sleepy backwater where the half-remembered rituals of village life are rekindled.
It's a short book but there's a lot going on, particularly in the final section where we fast forward 30 years to see what's become of Anglia. The two versions of England that Barnes sketches don't line up neatly with our current political categories which gives the book a pleasing extra layer of friction. Broadly the suggestion is that the myths England attaches to itself prevent it from moving on. By bundling these stories up and sequestering them offshore Anglia is able to become the sleepy backwater that more naturally befits a small nation on a small island on the western edge of Europe, a national identity begins to regrow freed of the toxic stories of empire and power. This is not to say Anglia is a pastoral idyll. Espescially viewed from 2025, where the tone of the "debate" on immigration is pretty horrible, the inward looking inhabitants can be seen to represent something darker.
(Scotland and Wales, slightly expanded through war and purchase, are apparently able to operate comfortably within a more federal EU, this is kind of off stage)
The list
The printout of Jeff's survey was laid before Sir Jack on his Battle Table. Potential purchasers of Quality Leisure in twenty-five countries had been asked to list six characteristics, virtues or quintessences which the word England suggested to them. They were not being asked to free-associate; there was no pressure of time on the respondents, no preselected multiple choice. "If we're giving people what they want," Sir Jack had insisted, "then we should at least have the humility to find out what that might be" Citizens of the world therefore told Sir Jack in an unprejudiced way what in their view the Fifty Quintessences of Englishness were:
- ROYAL FAMILY
- BIG BEN/ HOUSES OF PARLIAMENT
- MANCHESTER UNITED FOOTBALL CLUB
- GLASS SYSTEM
- PUBS
- A ROBIN IN THE SNOW
- ROBIN HOOD AND HIS MERRIE MEN
- CRICKET
- WHITE CLIFFS OF DOVER
- IMPERIALISM
- UNION JACK
- SNOBBERY
- GOD SAVE THE KING/ QUEEN
- BBC
- WEST END
- TIMES NEWSPAPER
- SHAKESPEARE
- THATCHED COTTAGES
- CUP OF TEA/DEVONSHIRE CREAM TEA
- STONEHENGE
- PHLEGM/ STIFF UPPER LIP
- SHOPPING
- MARMALADE
- BEEFEATERS/ TOWER OF LONDON
- LONDON TAXIS
- BOWLER HAT
- TV CLASSIC SERIALS
- OXFORD/ cAMBRIDGE
- HARRODS
- DOUBLE-DECKER BUSES/RED BUSES
- HYPOCRISY
- GARDENING
- PERFIDY / UNTRUSTWORTHINESS
- HALF-TIMBERING
- HOMOSEXUALITY
- ALICE IN WONDERLAND
- WINSTON CHURCHILL
- MARKS & SPENCER
- BATTLE OF BRITAIN
- FRANCIS DRAKE
- TROOPING THE COLOUR
- WHINGEING
- QUEEN VICTORIA
- BREAKFAST
- BEER/ WARM BEER
- EMOTIONAL FRIGIDITY
- WEMBLEY STADIUM
- FLAGELLATION/PUBLIC SCHOOLS
- NOT WASHING/BAD UNDERWEAR
- MAGNA CARTA